Stanhope's Letter (Jose Maria)

Dear Daisy:

I know I haven’t written to you for a while, but the last couple of days have been crazy. Things have really changed around here. It made me think, of what’s best for me, in my life, in my career, in everything basically. But most of all, I have realized that I can’t live without your love, you’re all I have right now and I cant even think of what will happen to me if something happens to you.

There’s been an attack; you know that’s all I can tell you, I can’t give any details because otherwise, my letter will be censured. But what I can tell you is that I’m fine, if that’s what you’re wondering. But there are bad news I need to tell you and I need you to be strong, for you, for me and for us. During the attack, a much loved friend died called Osborne. It hit me, I honestly didn’t expect it. Osborne was noble, had a great sense of what friendship means, and most of all, he helped me in any possible way he could. He was killed by a grenade while he was waiting for James.

But this isn’t why you should be sad about. Raleigh is ill, very ill and I really don’t know what happened to him or whether or not he hill survive. All I know is that he was hit on his back, now he can’t move. A doctor came; he said that he’s seriously injured and that he needs to send to England for special help. But the doctor says is possible that he doesn’t survive the flight. He’s not even sure if he will live until tomorrow.

As I said before, I need you to be strong now. I know he is your brother, but you need to know that he is a brave man. He thinks about war as the process of becoming a man, well, he became one. He fought bravely for his country; He is always in a good mood, even now that his is injured and is never afraid to fight. I don’t want you to be sad, I know that he would`t want you to be sad because of him. I wish I was with you, to hold you, to kiss you, to hug you and clean your tears. But I have to stay, they say war is about to end, but rumors are rumors; you can’t be sure about anything. What you can be sure about is that I pray everyday to God that we will meet again. I need you to have confidence, confidence that we will be together again, and this time I mean it. After this I will not let you go away from me again.

I know you’re taking a lot of bad news right now, and probably you’re quite sad. But there’s something I need to confess you, and I don’t want top keep this secret for the rest of my life from you. I want to tell you this because I want to be completely honest with you praying that you will forgive me for what I’ve done. I’ve been drinking Daisy, I’ve been drinking to calm my feelings and all the pressure I have here. At first I didn’t meant to, but as things got more complicated I saw it was the only solution to my depression. It was just too much to handle, the war, seeing people die, being an officer, and missing you.

Since Osborne’s death, and Raleigh’s injuries I’ve been trying to quit it, but it’s hard, you know? I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now, it must be difficult. But I want to ask you something. Something that will make me go on but also that I would like your honest answer. I want to hear you say that you will wait for me, that you will wait for me because you love me, still love me. I promise you I will quit drinking, as far as I know; I’m quitting it right now completely as I said before, for you, for us and for our love too.
It has been very difficult for me to write you this letter; its early morning now and I can’t go to sleep until I finish this letter. I’ve been quite angry and kind of moody over the last couple of days but it will pass, I’m sure of that. I’ve been having nightmares recently about you, about Osborne and about Raleigh. But I really can’t wait to see you. I just hope you understand me and that you’ll wait for me.

Forever Yours
Dennis